A few days ago I did something I never thought I'd have to do.

I banned someone from my FB Group.

This person was perfectly nice + it actually broke my heart to do it because I saw them participating in one other group appropriately (following the rules, etc.), but for some reason, this person refused to play nice in my community (and a few others).

In case you don't know me, my community is my family + I get mama bear quick over my peeps (messin' with a Fairy Godmother's peeps is the same deal as messin' with a mama's babies because you're messin' with the balance of the other memebers' hopes, dreams, goals, and sense of security—not cool).

My normal procedure is as follows:

Tag all new peeps on the rules posts

Welcome them to the group

Message peeps if they break a rule (it totally happens + I get that)

Keep the magic flowin'

When I realized this member had simply ignored the tags, the inbox message, AND wasn't playing nice in some other groups I belonged to, they got the blacklist check mark from me + got banned.

Moral of the story: Your reputation is your brand.

This person had some AMAZING posts! I loved what they had to say. I loved their genius. And I had an immense amount of respect for them.

The months it took them to build that kind of trust + respect they had with me was blown away with a couple easily avoidable actions that showed me they had absolutely no respect for me or my space (or most of the other spaces we were in together).

Fact: It's not hard to read the rules of a FB group. If you don't like the rules, don't hang out there. It's not for you, and that's totally okay! But trying to skirt the rules to underhandedly promote yourself just gets you labeled as a douche, and you're too fuckin' cool for that.

Fact: More peeps buy from you when you're not actively selling in FB groups. Dude, I know it's counterintuitive + may cause your brain to hurt a little. But my sales posts never do as well as my value posts. Besides, selling or promoting constantly, only builds your Douchedom not your 

Queen/Kingdom (and I'm totes pro-selling).

Fact: You develop positive relationships with the entire group when it's obvious you can play nicely with others. When you break a group's rules, it's not just the admins that you piss off. The loyal peeps in that community have just noted you as someone who's a negative part of their community, which doesn't position you as the brilliant, kick ass expert that you are, but positions you as King/Queen Douche.

The point of this is not to tear you down, or to talk mad stuff about peeps who break the rules. But I really want you to understand how important it is to show up in a way that's respectful to the house you're visiting.

These FB groups are our communities, our kindreds, our beloveds. The rules that're in place, are usually there to support the community as a whole + keep it a nourishing place to be.

Please read the rules in the groups you belong to. Please understand that you're building potential long-term relationships with people you haven't even talked to yet (but who have totally been watching you online).

You're amazing + you're here to make a positive impact in the world. Don't become the default douche. You're so much better than that.